Children in the parent-child class took the rare opportunity to wash their parents’ feet. (Photo by Chai Yu Leong)
Kudos to all the parents in the world for their hard work!
“Today, the children (will serve their parents). The parents can sit back, relax, and enjoy the perks of this session. Let your children massage your back and fingers – they are even better than professionals, aren’t they?” said volunteer Li Jialing as she started conducting the tea offering and foot-bathing ceremony in the Tzu Chi parent-child class in May.
May is known as the month of filial piety in Tzu Chi. On the morning of 17 May, 169 children from Tzu Chi Singapore’s parent-child class, ages ranging from 7 to 12, gathered at the Jing Si Hall with their parents. They were guided through a series of activities, which included a tea offering and foot-bathing segment and the making of “Thank You” cards for their parents.
The young ones respectfully serve their parents tea in a show of filial piety. (Photo by Chai Yu Leong)
After massaging their parents’ tired shoulders, the children gave them a warm hug. (Photo by You Wan Jing)
Expressing Love and Gratitude Through Action
During the tea ceremony, the children served sweet, fragrant tea (prepared by Tzu Chi volunteers) to their parents.
“Your children grow up day by day as time passes by. Today, they are going to take their first step (in showing filial piety), just like how they took their first steps while learning to walk as a toddler,” explained Li Jialing.
The smiling children then proceeded to respectfully kneel down before their parents to offer them tea. Each of them was holding a tray containing one or two cups of freshly brewed tea, hoping to express their thanks to their parents for raising them. Many of the parents teared up as they received the warm, fragrant tea from their children; the simple gesture had touched and warmed their hearts.
With great care, eleven-year-old Wu Xuanying approached her mother, Lu Meiling, with a cup of steaming tea. Xuanying would serve her parents tea on their birthdays, which sparked the inspiration for Lu to serve her own parents tea during Chinese New Year or on their respective birthdays. Lu observed that her daughter had learned to speak more kindly and politely and to take ownership of her studies after attending the parent-child class in Tzu Chi.
Next was the foot-bathing ritual. The children carefully folded up the bottom of their parents’ pants, removed their socks, and began washing their feet; their gentle rubbing soothed their parents’ weary feet. After that, they gave them a back massage. Seeing how their children did these simple gestures with a willing heart, many of the parents were moved to tears.
Luo Tingxuan, who works in the IT sector, greatly cherishes the opportunity to interact with her eight-year-old daughter (her only child), Chen Sijing, at the monthly parent-child classes. As her daughter bathed her feet, she was deeply moved and felt that Chen had really grown up and matured. She also regretted how she had never done the same to her own mother to show her love and filial piety.
“Mummy has been the one doing everything for me; I have never really done anything for her. But today, I am glad that I can give her a massage and wash her feet. This makes me very happy,” shared Chen.
Ren Yaojie, a first-time participant of the foot-bathing ceremony, commented that the tea offering and foot-bathing ceremony was a very meaningful and educational activity. He hoped that he, too, could serve as a role model for his children by carrying out the activity at home to express his gratitude and respect to his elderly mother.
His wife Wei Shuyun added, “This is a very good opportunity to remind us parents that we should not only focus on looking after our children, but also have a change of perspective and allow our children to have a chance to show their love to us. This encourages them to develop gratitude and teaches them to express their inner feelings of thankfulness.”
Parents and their children had fun together drawing colourful pictures on their “family booklets”. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
Chen Huien (Right) urged the Tzu Chi youths to show their love and care to their parents in a timely manner so that they would not regret later in life. (Photo by Chai Yu Leong)
Cards and Snacks Handmade with Love
In the next segment, the parents and their children also worked together to make a “family booklet” in which they wrote down words of love and gratitude for each other.
“When the parents get angry with their kids, they can open the booklet and reflect on what they have written. After getting scolded by their parents, the children, too, can read the booklet and be reminded of the love of their parents,” quipped volunteer Audrey Koh.
Next, parents and children separately wrote down their thoughts and feelings on the little slips of paper provided. Participant Lian Jiaxi not only wrote down words expressing her gratitude for her mother, but also drew a picture of the latter. When she read the letter that her mother had lovingly penned for her, she could not help but burst into emotional tears. Her Mother, Wang Xiangyu, who was sitting by her side, quickly gathered her into her arms for a tight hug, and together the mother-daughter pair made for an extremely touching sight.
This was the third year Jiaxi participated in such an activity in the parent-child class. Although her daughter has practised serving tea to her before, Wang felt different emotions each time, and she was still extremely touched that day. She also noticed that her daughter had improved greatly in terms of managing her emotions as well as her studies after attending the parent-child classes, and that Jiaxi would also apply the teachings of Jing Si Aphorisms (by Dharma Master Cheng Yen) in her daily life.
Wang shared that whenever she fell ill, Jiaxi would always take the initiative to care for her, and that whenever she lost her temper or became upset, her daughter was more able to understand and empathize with her. After attending the parent-child classes with Jiaxi, Wang herself had also changed greatly, and can better control her temper now.
“I feel that my daughter is helping me learn to be a better mother,” said Wang.
During the snack-making session, the parents and their children used all sorts of cute molds to make delicious rice balls for each other. The finished rice balls all looked extremely appetizing. As most of the children seldom had the chance to help with cooking at home, they were especially delighted at the chance to prepare food for their parents in such a fun and meaningful way.
The seniors’ sharing deeply touched Tong Liwen (Right), evoking strong feelings of gratitude for her parents. (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
Xu Huixun had done much reflection during the session, and hoped to give his parents his first hug later that day. (Photo by Chai Yu Leong)
Leaving No Regrets
In the Tzu Chi Teenagers’ Class held on 27 May, Chen Huien, a Tzu Chi collegiate volunteer, and Liu Jinkuan, a former collegiate volunteer, made special appearances to share their personal experiences.
Liu Jinkuan shared how he mustered up the courage to break through the distance between his father and himself, bravely taking the first step to give his usually stern and reticent father a hug, allowing himself to have no regrets after his father’s passing.
Chen Huien in turn shared her experiences taking care of her mother, a cancer patient. She revealed that she was often dissatisfied with her mother and often complained about her. It was only after her mother passed away that she truly understood the pain that her mother had gone through.
When Chen received a call from her mother, she would reply impatiently, “Mum, I’m busy, can’t you wait till I’m free before you call me?” Although she loved her mother and cared for her greatly, she would sometimes unwittingly and unknowingly hurt her mother with careless words. Chen thus reminded fellow Tzu Chi youths that they should express their love and gratitude to their parents in a timely manner and to learn to stand in the shoes of their parents, for once their parents passed away, it would be too late to feel regret for not having shown them love and care.
“Mummy, I’m sorry, please forgive me for often being angry with you, and for often getting into quarrels with my younger siblings. I promise you that I will try my best to improve myself.” These were the heartfelt words written by 13-year-old Tong Liwen to her mother. The sharing from the seniors had touched her deeply.
“I had never thought of the scenario where one day should my parents pass away, I will no longer have an opportunity to practice filial piety…” said an emotional and tearful Tong.
As she grew older, the distance between her parents and her inevitably widened. Tong said that she hoped to make an effort to practise filial piety at home by helping with housework and avoiding arguing with her parents so that she would not have any regrets in her life when her parents are no longer around.
“Everyone, try and picture your parents – what do they look like?” Teacher Hong Lihuan asked the youths to draw their parents’ images on a piece of paper.
As he rarely saw his father, participant Xu Huixun could not manage to draw the likeness of his father. Though the image of his mother he drew did not look friendly, it depicted someone with a kind heart. Whenever Xu was reprimanded by his mother, he would sometimes indignantly retort back and try to argue his way out . But after that, he would reflect on his words and apologise to his mother. Once, Xu even used recycled clothes that he had collected to make a bag for his mother as a show of gratitude.
“We must cherish the affinities we share with our parents. Saying simple words like “I love you” and “thank you” or helping with household chores are all ways of expressing our thanks. Although I have never hugged my parents, I hope that I will be able to do that when I go home today,” said Xu.
The Tzu Chi youths mindfully learn to make the snack, in hopes that they can make it at home to share with their parents. (Photo by Leong Li Ling)
After the parent-child class, many children dropped their donations into a giant Tzu Chi “bamboo bank” to help the earthquake survivors in Nepal. (Photo by Chai Yu Leong)
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